Mike’s Lone PEEK Summit!!

Last week I was lucky enough to go to Chicago our annual print and promotional distributors conference.  While the trip was a success overall, by the time I returned to St. Paul I was extremely thankful that I only have to travel by air a couple times a year.  More on that later…

As for the conference, I met with many manufacturing partners who had great new products to offer (make sure to ask your salesperson about how 2D barcodes can add value to your business cards and other marketing pieces. More to come on that in a later edition). I was particularly interested in some revolutionary new methods in direct mail which allow for much more information to be included in a mail piece while staying within postal regulations for postcard rates.

I also met with some great service providers that showed me how to continue making the B2B workflow process easier for our customers. Our goal at Bann is to not only provide great products, but more importantly to provide great solutions. We can only do that if we ask good questions and then attentively listen to what you are saying. Please let us know your thoughts on how we can improve.

Like most MWC (married with children) people, I like to take full advantage of the freedom that a solo trip affords.  And while Chicago is a place I could never live (stimulation overload!), it was the perfect place to spend a few days on my own.  Our conference was held near Navy Pier and everywhere I looked there was a bar or a steakhouse.  I also got to take in a comedy show at The Second City and I can tell you it was ten times funnier than anything I’ve seen on SNL in years.  I highly recommend checking it out the next time you’re in Chicago!

Now, onto my travel adventure  As I mentioned, I don’t have to travel much by plane these days but I’ve done it enough over the years to not expect the process to ever go smoothly.  That said, my trip home from Chicago was one for the ages. 

I arrived at the airport in plenty of time for my 4:15 flight and printed out what I thought to be my boarding pass at the convenient kiosk and headed down stairs to wait in line to go through security.  When it was finally my turn, I handed over my ticket and was promptly informed that what I had was not a boarding pass, but a receipt.  So back I went upstairs to the end of the line where I waited somewhat less patiently than the first time until I got a second chance to master this taxing process.  Then it was back down the stairs where I waded my way to the front of the line where, of course, I was flagged by security. My dangerous bottle of Listerine was confiscated but my cigar cutter and lighter made it thru unscathed. By now I was starting to worry about making it to the gate on time. 

As it turned out, I had plenty of time because my flight was delayed 90 minutes.  After a couple beers, I boarded the plane and settled in for what is usually a one hour flight home to MSP.  Not today.  As we began to taxi the captain informed us that because of our delay we had lost our position in line for departure, that he had no idea when we could get back in line and that we were going to taxi to a remote place and await further instructions.  At this point I started having visions of those poor SOBs who waited 8 hours on a tarmac in Rochester.  Luckily for those of us on the plane, this wait was only 40 minutes and the captain came back over the loud speaker to tell us we now had a place in line and that all he had to do was restart the engines which had been shut off to save fuel.  Moments later we found out that something had happened to the main computer during the engine shutdown/restart and there would be no taking off until it was fixed.  So it was back to the gate where a mechanic could make this simple fix.  But apparently all the mechanics must have been now working at the airport bar as there were none to be found. 

After about another hour, I heard what sounded like wrenches being employed and it was clear they’d pulled a mechanic out of the bar. Soon the captain told us to take our seats and prepare for departure because in a mere 30 minutes we’d be taking off. To my utter amazement, this actually happened and we were in the air and headed home, just shy of 4 hours after the 4:15 scheduled departure.  The flight attendant came by and asked if I would like a beverage and I told her I had spent my last $15 on two beers in the terminal.  She said this one would be on the house. Things were looking better!  The captain even told us we were 15 minutes ahead of schedule. Until…he got word that the Vice President was in town with Air Force 2 and the entire airport was temporarily closed.  So we were re-routed to circle Eau Claire until the arrival back log was depleted (estimated 30-40 minutes).  On the bright side, I figured it was better to be flying over Eau Claire intentionally as opposed to the people on NWA Flight 188! It was here I was reminded of the story about my dad who back in 1970 had an employee go on top of his then large sales office and printing plant roof to paint in very large letters “Welcome To Des Moines”. The building was of course located in Eagan right under the flight path. Well the Metropolitan Airport Commission failed to see the humor..,go figure!

Just as I felt like we were descending, my newfound friend the captain informed us that (I kid you not) a plane carrying donated organs (who knew you get a whole plane full of them I thought they came one at a time) for transplants was headed for MSP and all other planes again needed to be put on hold.  Possibly due to some influence from the few adult beverages I’d consumed and possibly due to inheriting some of my dad’s humor, I decided to channel my inner George Costanza and told the people around me and the flight attendant that we needed to land STAT! Because I in fact was an MD specializing in organ transplants and was needed on the ground to greet the organs and save some lives! (for those of you not familiar with George’s penchant for occupational imitation, check out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u8KUgUqprw&feature=related).  

For a while there, I actually was an organ transplant specialist.  Unfortunately, my efforts to get us on the ground before all the other planes failed and we finally touched down at 10:15.  As I walked off the plane, the flight attendant offered me a pair of plastic gloves in case I ran across a stray organ in the terminal.  I laughed and said, “No thanks, I’m going home to bed!”

Thirty minutes later, and no less than eight hours after I arrived at the airport in Chicago, I did just that.  And I now have an even more profound respect for those of you who travel by plane with such great frequency!

PS: For the full, unabridged, and politically incorrect version of this story email me directly at: